Welcome to coaching, dear client

I drive through a cornfield every time I start a new coaching partnership. OK, fine. It’s a figurative cornfield but stalks are flying everywhere and the windshield wipers are woefully unprepared for the debris field ahead.

The cornfield is one analogy I use to frame the first session with a new client. What follows are the hopes, dreams, and humor I share on day one with those I’m so fortunate to coach.

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To my new client:

A dash of curious with a pinch of excitement is what you’re feeling as we sit across from each other for the first time. You’re not sure what to expect so I’m here to give you the comfort and certainty of expectations. And you’re not aware in the moment, but you’ll soon speak your own expectations for me as we begin our meaningful work. It’s what my mentor at the Hudson Institute for Coaching calls a “partnership of equals.” That’s us.

A few minutes in, you’re feeling my sincere belief in you. Good. That’s what I’m going for. You’ll get used to feeling this belief no matter how difficult or revelatory our conversations are.

A few minutes pass and I ask what you notice in your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. That last one is a surprise to you, so I explain how powerful you’ll become when you take the three information centers we’re each gifted and bring them together toward your highest ambitions.

It becomes apparent quickly that our relationship is unlike any other in your life. Here, you won’t experience judgement, which might take some getting used to. Because judgement is so often part of the human experience. It doesn’t feature here though and quickens the mutual-trust, admiration, and comradery we’re building.

Now we talk about coaching in the context of human development broadly (I’ll make it brief, I promise). I share what makes coaching different from mentorship, training, and personal therapy. You hear how our work is comprehensive (whole-person), and can involve all areas of life, like career and personal ambitions, your health, family, or the legacy you’ll leave. Coaching is a big world, yes, but one you’ll quickly find your place within.

Here’s where I break out the cornfield analogy. It goes like this.

Sometimes in coaching, we drive down the road, which represents the plan we created and are working toward. Other times, we yank the steering wheel, veer into a ditch, and careen through a cornfield. Our coaching is focused but also flexible to accommodate the unexpected turns life throws our way (like changes to your personal identity, challenges to your long-held values, a shifting self-story that plays in your head).

I change gears to say we’ll emphasize your strengths and avoid being consumed by “opportunity gaps.” You’re heartened to hear this because “filling gaps,” “advancement derailers” and other corporate jargon may have made you feel like a list of problems to solve, even as a top performer. Not here though.

Fast forward to the inner-wisdom you’ll discover through reflection and experimentation – in our sessions and on your own between sessions. We call the latter “homework” and you’ll eagerly do it because every time you do, you noticeably grow. You’ll feel proud. And I’ll excitedly share that feeling with you.

There’s now a lightness to your body. You realize it’s because you’re more aware of your internal resourcefulness and resilience. Then I tell you that “knowing” has been inside you your entire life and you (knowingly) nod. You didn’t expect any of this coming into today and it’s all happening before we’ve had an actual coaching session.

Toward the end of our time, we get specific with the four phases of our work. (You feel my energy shift to decisive and determined.)

Phase 1: We explore who you are, and who you want to become (your created future).

Phase 2: With my observations and your self-reflection, you become more aware of your motivations and strengths and your fears and anxieties. What happens? You’re more dialed-in than ever before and seeing your world clearly in places and differently in others.

Phase 3: We work your coaching plan to reach your created future. You feel warmly supported through the behaviors, habits, and actions needed to reach the bar you’ve set. I make sure of it. As we go, you notice that I tell you things no one else will.

Phase 4: You experience the beauty of consistent progress toward your goals. You start dreaming bigger as the breakthroughs pile up.

As we close today, you feel seen, understood, and valued. In the short period of time we were together, you moved closer to living the life of your choosing. You’re filled with optimism.

We both smile assuredly and fully. You take a breath. The kind of breath that symbolizes a change in you.

We part ways and you feel hopeful, full of potential, and capable of incredible things. You ask if these feelings are a sign of what’s to come. I say, without hesitation, “it sure as heck is.”

The most meaningful work of your life has begun. Even better, it’s with good company riding alongside you.

See you on the road, and in that cornfield you’ve heard so much about.