The Influence Hall of Fame

Here’s exactly how it happened. I’m sitting at the 50-yard line of a conference room table with colleagues who are all my senior – in age, title, company resources, professional achievement, and status. We’re working on a regional business review (not as boring as it sounds!) to be presented to national company leadership in two weeks.

To my initial disbelief, when some of these people speak, folks around the table start to drift. Their eyes lower, they shift in their chairs, inhale deeply, or look around the room to gauge the reaction of their peers. Meanwhile, the speaker – whose ideas are good but discounted quickly – is judged to be lacking credibility.

This real-life example has a few explanations like the competition for company resources, the gravitas the speaker possesses, what’s known of their personal character and values, cliques within the team, and performance history, to name a few. By far the best explanation is that the speaker failed to invest in personal relationships with those around the table. These are the same people who are now judging their professional perspective with skepticism or disbelief.

The speaker made the mistake so many do: they didn’t build the personal foundation on top of which their professional credibility now rests. And because of this, they’re just not that influential.

Those I’ve found to be the most influential do these five things well, with strong emphasis on the personal. I call them the five Bs.

Be purposeful

• Affirm, don’t flatter (flatter is cheap while affirmation is full of soul)

• Show up to see them succeed (never let someone hit a homerun in an empty ballpark)

• Let them know they influenced you

• Demonstrate deference with questions (show respect for another person’s perspective or expertise)

My Hall of Fame (HOF): Debbie Roberts, Suzelle Tempero Knisley

Your HOF:_____________________________

Be informal

• Set aside your status (don’t lead with qualifications or title; people hate that)

• Remember names and they will remember you (names say, “I want to be known and I want to know you”)

• Smile (see the concept of emotional contagion)

My HOF: Dave Corns, Steven Hunter

Your HOF:_____________________________

Be great with gratitude

• Share honest and genuine appreciation (be specific because general praise is easy to ignore)

• Tell them how valuable they are (and the particular impact of their value)

• Offer praise and pass on third-party compliments

My HOF: Joe Kirby, Pam Congemi

Your HOF:_____________________________

Be humble

• Admit your mistake (accountability looks good on you; finger pointing does not)

• Keep “you’re wrong” to yourself (saying “you’re wrong” leaves no room for nuance, puts the other person on the defensive, and very rarely produces a good outcome)

• Be willing to say “your opinion is my opinion” (show that you trust the judgement of another person, especially when it impacts you or your team)

My HOF: Mary Milla, Beth Bullock-McGrail

Your HOF:_____________________________

Be first

• Take personal interest in what’s meaningful to them

• Determine what they need and offer it to them (not just professionally but personally too)

• Set the precedent (reciprocity starts with you and is a major element of influence)

My HOF: Lori Siegworth, Ben Mattson

Your HOF:_____________________________

I’m not naïve enough to think that the five Bs always lead to influence, but they give you the best chance you have.

Now it’s your turn. Fill in the blanks for yourself. No really, spend just a few minutes. Then get invites ready for your own Influence Hall of Fame induction. I’ll help you set out the centerpieces and greet your guests at the door!